The Eye Examination

These Glasses Are Old

Not sure what face this is, but these glasses are 12 years old.

I have a confession.  I have had my current glasses for 12 years.  TWELVE YEARS.  That means they graduated high school with me, graduated college with me, and have been part of my adulthood for longer than they were in college.  They have been ok and have served their purpose until the past couple of years when my vision decided to get a little bit worse and now I can’t see with them on.  Needless to say, I decided to set up an eye appointment to get an updated prescription.

The nurse called me back at my appointment time (victory!) and then asked me to take my contacts out.  She pulled up that screen with the letters on it and asked me to cover one eye and read what I could.  Only one problem, my contacts are no longer in my eyes so that screen isn’t possible for me to read anymore.  Do you want me to guess what the top line says?

She puts some lenses in front of my eyes to check to see if my prescription is right and asks me to read the smallest line possible.  This is always a funny guessing game to me.  Out of 5 letters I’m 95% sure about 3 of them and 2 are guesses.  That last little letter over there could be an E, B, R, or K, right?  Oh, it’s an S you say?  Totally!  I see it now! Isn’t that what I said it was?

Then the lady tells me that I need to go pay a contact lens fitting fee before I see the doctor.  Oh? I thought I scheduled and paid a co-pay for a contact lens examination?  Insurance these days.  My contacts are still sitting on the counter and she hands me my ancient glasses.  Now I have to walk down two flights of stairs to wait in line and then pay and then come back and then see the doctor.

When I come back the doctor was ready to see me (victory again!) and she examines my eyes.  Look up and to the right, up and to the left, down and to the left, she says like a speed demon.  I’m doing it as fast as I can hoping that I actually know my left from my right.  As a dance teacher I’m constantly telling children to move right while I’m moving left and I’m afraid I’ve forgotten which way is actually which.  By the time I can think all of these thoughts she tells me the results of my examination: “You don’t have any signs of cataracts or glaucoma.” Uh, yeah. Hopefully not!

She hands me some contacts and I ask what prescription they are.  Looks like my eyes have gotten a tiny bit worse…again.  So I speak for the first time this appointment (maybe even that day!) and say, “My prescription stayed the same for about 10 years but in the past couple years it has gotten a little bit worse.  Is there a reason for this?  Is there anything I can do?” She replies, “There’s not really anything you can do, I mean, you are getting older.”

Zing. Mlopblog1

Excuse me?  She then tells me that the type of contacts that I’ve been wearing have been around so long that the materials they are made of are out dated and they are being phased out, so she needs to switch me to this new type by the same brand.

Double Zing.

Then she asks if I’ve considered getting Lasik.

Triple Zing. (If you don’t know – long story short I’ve dreamed of getting Lasik but I am not a good candidate.)

I left the appointment feeling depressed and drove home in the rain with my eyes dilated.  In that moment, I couldn’t handle all of the talk of me getting old so I handled the situation the only way I know how.  I took a nap.

Over & out.


  1. Aunt Chris says:

    Welcome to the world of eyes and glasses. Not only are your eyes getting whacked but taking a nap??? Signs of aging lol.

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